our expert advice to your questions
I am having to cancel/postpone my wedding! I have no idea how to handle this...
Ugh, we are endlessly sorry! It is unimaginable being placed in this situation. Your wedding day should be all about you and your love, and should never be tainted with fear or loss. This is such an unfortunate position to be in--for you, your guests and your vendors. First things first, don’t panic--it’s time to channel your inner superhero and make some calls and dish those decisions. Do your best to think objectively in this difficult time, and keep your guests’ safety at the front of your mind.
What do I say to my guests?
Our suggestion is to send out an email first, so your guests can receive an immediate notification and they can begin making arrangements. Something outlining your desires to keep them safe and that you’ll be in touch shortly with an updated wedding date and plan (you will get married, we promise)!
How do I move forward with my wedding venue and vendors?
Try to stay calm and understand that this is the first time your wedding team is having to deal with a situation like this too. They don’t have all the answers, but they are here for you and will help come up with a plan and solution. Be ready to have an open discussion about the options your venue can provide, and what your vendors can do about changing your date and handling your payments.
My venue cancelled my wedding!
Yikes, okay. If a venue cancels and does not postpone, you are entitled to a full refund. Your venue may need to postpone your wedding (it is now mandated that all events with over 50 people be cancelled/postponed), but cancelling it altogether is not okay. Work with your venue to find a solution and select a new date that works for you.
I’m worried I might have to postpone my wedding!
We are staying positive and sending all the good vibes in hopes you will not have to do that, *crossing fingers*! In the unfortunate event that you do, it’s time to put on your boss lady panties and start leading your wedding team in selecting a new date. That’s the first thing!
My vendors are dropping out of my wedding!
Man, same story as above. Work with your vendors to come up with a new date and move your wedding. Cancelling because of an act of God is a thing, but you paid for services and it’s just humane to work out a new date together. Keep in mind, this is not your vendors’ fault either, and demanding refunds is not fair. Changing the date is totally fair and your vendors should accommodate.
My guests/wedding party are cancelling coming to my wedding!
Ugh, we feel you. We recommend not to worry too much about them until you know you absolutely have to postpone. You have some options if you must postpone:
I am worried about some of my guests because they are in an at risk people group.
We need to be mindful of our friends and relatives at risk. If your wedding is taking place in the near future, it is encouraged to either postpone your wedding or make sure at risk guests do not attend. It’s in their best interests.
I am worried I am going to lose my investments into my wedding vendors and products.
This is a real concern, we know. There are certain things you might have to repurchase again (anything with your wedding date printed on it for example). This is so unfortunate, but these are hard costs and it might just be unavoidable. But services can always be rescheduled, as inconvenient as that is.
How do I handle my contracts?
First, when it comes to your vendor contracts, understand that your vendors run small businesses and that your payments keep food on their tables. Demanding refunds is not ethical when it comes to acts of God or inconveniences. But it’s also not fair to you. So this is where you really try to come up with a new date that works for everyone. If you have some vendors that are not available for your new date, consider using your investment in other ways. Vendors are always happy to restructure services for things like this, and provide you a credit. For example, if your photographer can’t make it to your new wedding date, suggest that they pay an associate photographer to come in their stead, or maybe reallocate your funds to pay for some anniversary sessions, gifted photo sessions for your parents, or a special engagement session.
What’s the rescheduling timeframe? How much time should I postpone my wedding?
This is hard, as in a time like this, it is difficult to say when we are truly safe. Our advice is to let the next couple weeks play out and see what happens. This could very well fizz out and be less of a deal than we think, opening up time sooner rather than later. Just try to put some space between making concrete decisions without concrete evidence.
How do I have this conversation with my vendors? How do I approach this and still keep a good relationship with them?
Venues: This will likely be the hardest part of rescheduling your wedding. Most venues get booked out far in advance. If you want to get married sooner rather than later, it might be best to consider a weekday wedding if they have all their weekends booked up. That might make it more likely that all your vendors can attend too.
Hotels: If you have set up hotel room blocks for your guests, this is potentially a difficult topic. Every hotel is different, but should be sensitive to the situation and relieve you from your blocks since most hotels are enforcing a mandate as well.
Invitations/calligraphy/signage: These are typically hard costs and will need to be repurchased with your new date. If you purchased your paper products from bigger companies, it is likely that they will replace or discount for you. Smaller businesses will be out that money the same as you. We recommend keeping the relationship happy and finding a compromise.
Pretty much every other vendor type: Typically service-only vendors such as photographers and videographers collect partial payments/deposits at the time of booking which are non-refundable. If you choose to cancel or postpone to a date that does not work for your vendor, then you will likely lose your deposit, but won’t have to pay the rest of the balance.
Basically, communication is key right now. Connect with your vendors, your wedding party and relatives. Communicate your sadness and loss, feel it, but do not let your stress ruin your relationships with your team. Remember they are all there to support you and want to find a solution just as badly as you do.
We are also here for you. Our hotline is available during normal business hours in Pacific Standard time. We are a collect of former wedding planners who are here to help you get through this, even if it is just to listen.
